Shuffle

I was 10 or so, another few weeks in summer on The Cape, in a cabin. Mom, Aunt Nancy and Nana there.  Much beach frivolity, but none better than cribbage night.  And I mean none better.

Mom, Nancy and Nana would sit around a formica clad kitchen table and the board would come out and the cards would be dealt.  But not before the shuffle, which was my favorite part.  Mom had the “Bridge” shuffle, a sort of high arc where the cards would cascade down into a pack. It’s complicated and my preferred methodology of the shuffle; split the deck, half in one hand half in the other.   Feather the cards into one another and arc up your hands to make the bridge and they all shuffle down together.  Very deft.  It was like art; unexplainable why you liked it, but beautiful at the same time, cards just dancing.  

Nancy had the “Nudge”, cut, cut and cut, then a semi chop bridge shuffle.  She’d peel up the corners of the cards, feather them, interspersing them and then nudge them all back together and rinse and repeat.  

Nana had the “chop” shuffle like you’ve never seen.  Half the cards in one hand, half in the other and she would chop them together, repeatedly, like she was cutting carrots.  It was so inelegant, but so effective.  Chop, chop, chop.  A deck would succumb and be mixed.

They say it takes 7 shuffles to mix up 52 cards right.  Statistically speaking, Casino wise.  Nana could do it in three chops.  

Hours would go by as the three played for blood and rights.  It was no holds bared.  Deathmatch.  After all, it was cribbage.  Shuffles ensued, one blaming the other for a bad score based upon bad shuffles.  That’s what Cape Cod gamblers do.  As I remember the stakes were high: Who’s cooking breakfast in the morning.  Cigarettes are flying around, wine here and there.  Tense at best.  But it’s the Cape.  It’s hot and damp.  Humid.  If I had one memory of being 10 with my Mom, my Grandmother and my Aunt on the cape, it would be this one and I wouldn’t give it away for anything.

If you ever had one Cape Cod beach moment, this would be the one.

There’s nothing like the shuffle.  

The Boast

Mrs. met Grady on a Sunday morning.  He’s grizzled, certainly rough around the edges, plaid lumberjack shirt with suspenders, looks 80-ish, but perhaps quite older.  Anyone’s guess and nobody really knows.  But everyone knows him.  In a small suburban, almost rural town, in New England, everyone knows everyone.  Mrs. does not.  Newly married and just bought some land with her husband.  It’s 1963.  They want to build a home.  Have the plans, the contractor, but water.  Where is the water going to come from?  Out there there’s no water unless you find it on your own, deep underground.  A well, as it were. A cistern, whatever you want to call it, but a source, a source that will feed for an eternity.

Grady, Grady Gibbous as he’s known, meets Mrs. on the land on Sunday.  Her husband is off traveling the East Coast on a sales junket so it’s up to Mrs. to help oversee the infrastructural nature of building a home starting with water.  Grady finds water.  That’s what he’s done for decades.  They meet, exchange pleasantries, and Grady goes about his dowsing with little to no words.  He removes these two L shaped rods from his back pocket and starts roaming about the property.  Each in a hand, the rods are pointed out in front of him like two slinged guns. Pointing, laterally, at really nothing.  Just trudging about with these two divining rods in his hands, they stay  parallel to each other the entire time.  Mrs. asks him about the “process” if you can call it that.  Grady grumbles, “Ma’am, this is dowsing, dowsing for water.  When these two rods cross, X marks the spot for your water. Mind you, this may take a while.”  Probably the most he’s said in 40 years.  

An hour later as Mrs. followed Grady around, the rods crossed on the lower part of property, by the road and next to where the driveway would be.  Grady stood there for a moment as the rods were vibrating in an X formation and said, “This is it.  I’ll be back tomorrow with the pounder.”  Mrs. said, “What’s a pounder?”  Grady responded, “Ma’am, I don’t drill wells, I pound them.”  And left it that as he walked away.  Mrs. had a slew of questions, but held them each in as Grady rounded the corner and walked out of sight.  

Monday morning Mrs. was there to greet Grady as he drove up with a large truck, a derrick in fact, that looked like it came from the 30’s.  He pulled up to the “spot”, climbed out and began manually cranking a hoist that rose larger and larger, vertically into the sky.  It rose up 30 feet or so and then he fired up a generator of sorts and the woosh of the sound was deafening.  It hurumphed, crumbled, then sparked again and then went full bore, it was running whatever it was.  

Grady grabbed a lawn chair from the back of the truck, unfurled it and placed right next to the derrick.  He then pulled a lever and a large bit of some sort, a 7 inch in diameter, blunt object, slammed into the “spot” from the top of the tower and smashed into the ground.  Then it rose up again to the top and slammed back down into the ground again.  It was violent and constant.  But with each slam it went a few inches deeper.  And Grady was replete in his lawn chair as each hammer went down to strike the earth.  He had another, another lawn chair.  He got up as all the machinations were going on, pulled the other chair off the truck and set it down, open, next to him.  An invitation to have Mrs. sit and see the wonder.  Or at least so we would think.  Mrs. took the invitation and sat down next to Grady as the pounding ensued.  Not a word was spoken until Grady said, “Ma’am, I pound wells, I don’t drill.  If you drill, you go deep, deeper than you should have to.  When I pound I crack and cracking is the best thing, it opens up aquifers that you could never get to by drilling.”  Mrs. was sort of out of her depth, so to speak, and responded, “You drill for water, that’s what I think you do, not to tell you your business.”

Grady was nonplussed by the comment.  The bit on the derrick keeps pounding, shrunck…shrunck…shrunck.  They sat together, not a word spoken and 8 hours later, water, like an oil field strike, started shooting up out of the well.  

Grady got up and capped it as he had done a million times before.  Turned to Mrs. and said, “It’s all about making the cracks, not making the holes.” He brought down the derrick and drove off while Mrs. was still sitting in the lawn chair.  She still has the lawn chair.

The Kingdom of Vellev

 

 

…some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.  C.S. Lewis

 

THE KINGDOM OF VELLEV

 

Once upon a time there was a lovely kingdom called Vellev.  It was a small island in the middle of a big, warm, blue ocean. It had a mountain in the middle where goats and deer would wander and beautiful fields for growing food of all kinds.  And the ocean gave to this kingdom an abundance of fish and kelp.

You will notice a couple of very special things about names in this kingdom. Everyone has only one name.  Last or family names were missing because the people of Vellev considered themselves to be one large family enjoying each other’s company and helping one another.

The second unusual aspect of names in this kingdom is that each one is spelled the same way forward as it is backward.  This is because many, many people in Vellev are left-handed and therefore can read not only left-to-right but also right-to-left (and sometimes even upside down). Some time ago a king named Gallag proclaimed that all names would be spelled this way forever as a special gift to the “lefties” in the kingdom.  King Gallag was also left-handed so he really liked this idea.  Gallag ruled for many years and became known as King Gallag the Gentle.

After King Gallag, King Harrah ascended the throne.  He took his responsibilities very seriously and spent most days walking around the island to greet and talk to his people.  The people looked forward to these meetings and they would tell him all about what was happening in the kingdom.  They were honest with the king and felt it was important to tell him all the good news and also tell him about any difficulties and struggles they were having. King Harrah was determined to see people smile so he always tried to lessen all the difficulties and struggles of life.

The people of Vellev and King Harrah loved celebrations of all kinds.  Each month the king proclaimed one day as Wow. On this special occasion everyone dressed in blue (the blue of the ocean and the blue of the sky) and gathered in the public square.  There were games, singing, dancing, and delicious food brought by everyone for the festivities.  Toward the end of Wow, all the people would join in a game of Pop Ball.  Everyone used a small racket to keep a little yellow ball high in the air. If you let the ball touch the ground, you had to send it soaring again then wear a yellow sash for the rest of the day.  When Wow was over, everyone wearing a yellow sash stayed until sunset to help clean up after this wonderful day of fun.  After many days of Wow it is easy to see why the King became known as King Harrah the Happy.

 

King Harrah and Queen Laval and had one child, a son named Kerek. Prince Kerek was a boy, just like any other boy except for his hair.  Unlike any other person in Vellev, his hair was bright, bright red.  When his father went walking through the town, Kerek was left at a big park in the center of the town with his nanny to watch over him.  Here the children could play on slides and swings, climb trees, play games, race around a sandy track and just have fun.

Unfortunately, many of these days in the park were miserable for Prince Kerek.  Some of the children just couldn’t help trying to make the king’s son feel badly and they used the unusual color of his hair in mean and spiteful ways.  These children teased him pointing to his head, laughing and calling him “Beet Boy” or worst of all “Prince Blood.” He didn’t know what to do so he yelled back at them and grew more and more angry.  This only increased the taunts and jeers. His nanny was no help at all. She just sat in one spot and read a book or quietly closed her eyes and napped.

As Prince Kerek and the other boys got older, the taunting and the bullying got worse and worse.  Finally, Kerek had enough.  He refused to go to the park and also refused to accompany his father on his walks around town. The people of Vellev noticed that he was never seen around the kingdom and soon a very unkind name was whispered from one person to another.  Everyone now referred to him as Prince Kerek the Kook.

The years passed quickly and quietly for Kerek.  He grew tall and strong and when he reached the age of twenty-one, he married the kind and beautiful Ailia.  Ailia understood Kerek in ways no one else ever had.  They both liked to be alone sometimes and when together they seemed to forget that the kingdom was just outside the palace doors.

Shortly after Kerek’s marriage, King Harrah became quite ill and died.  Everyone was sad and the kingdom became very quiet as they remembered with fondness all the good things King Harrah the Happy had done.  Three days after King Harrah’s funeral, Kerek was crowned king of Vellev in a solemn ceremony in the town square.  Many, many people were there but there was an uneasiness that was also present. These people did not know Kerek.  Each and every one of them wondered if he could he be trusted to lead them honestly and peacefully.  They asked one another, “What will our future be like.”

As the crown was placed on his head, Kerek realized that he was now powerful.  He was very, very powerful and everyone had to do just what he said.  He could not stop his mind from racing in many directions all with one thought, “Now those who were so mean to me will pay for it.”

Kerek’s first words as King of Vellev were, “Get me the proclamation scroll and the golden pen.” This was serious business. Only the king could write upon the scroll and only with the golden pen.  Whatever was written had to be obeyed by all the people of Vellev.

The proclamation read:

Everyone who sees the king must pay homage to him by bending forward and touching               their toes. They cannot stand straight again until they have counted to 25.

All men from age 21 onward must shave their head. Only the King and men of the royal family can have hair on their heads.

No one but the royal family will wear blue from this day forward.

King Kerek thought to himself, “This will teach a lesson to all those who teased and bullied me.  Now they will have to do things my way.” And indeed things in the kingdom changed.  Men shaved their heads and people bowed deeply for just the right amount of time. But they also became very careful around the king. They no longer gathered in the public square talking and laughing.  And the once a month special day of Wow no longer took place.  Vellev became a quiet and sad place.

Soon after being crowned king, Kerek and Ailia had a lovely daughter which they named Niffin.  As was the custom, three days after Niffin’s birth she would be presented formally to the kingdom.  This would be a great day of celebration.  King Kerek gathered little Niffin in his arms, opened the doors of the palace and walked out onto the public square.  There were no cheers.  There were no upraised arms of greeting. There was complete silence. There was no one in the square.  There was no one to welcome his beloved Niffin.

King Kerek turned around and went back into the palace. He was very hurt and very angry.  He gave little Niffin to Ailia and announced that he would have to think about what just happened.  He paced the corridors of the palace calling out loud, “What shall I do? What can I do?”

After walking about the palace halls and thinking for hours, Kerek still had no answers yet he could not rest.  In the very early hours of the morning, Kerek went out of the palace and walked along the deserted streets of the kingdom. As he neared the mountain, he saw an old, old man  sitting on a rock with a little gold lantern beside him which gave off a soft, flickering light.  The old man looked up, smiled and struggled to get up. Kerek recognized how difficult it was for the old man to rise and said, “Remain seated. I am just passing by.”  The old man sighed in relief and asked, “Why are you out so late?“ The king who was very tired, sat beside him on a patch of soft moss. Perhaps it was the darkness of night or the glow of the little lantern but Kerek took a deep breath and told the old man how terrible the previous day had been and also shared with him how mean and hurtful others had been when he was growing up.  The old man said in a quiet voice, “But Sire, just think that men standing in the public square in the hot sun without hair would have burned their scalps.  And who could see your wonderful daughter as they bent their heads close to their knees. Also, It is hard for the people feel like it’s a real celebration without their special blue festival clothes. “

King Kerek quickly pointed out how mean some of these people had been to him.  “Ah,” said the old man, “but being mean and spiteful back will hurt you most of all. “

King Kerek looked at the old man and slowly began to understand many, many things. “I thought I was teaching everyone a lesson but it seems that I am the one who has to learn.” The king asked “What is your name my friend?” The old man replied, “My name is Solos.”  Solos then suggested that the exhausted king lean back onto the soft moss and rest for a while and Kerek did just that.

Suddenly, Kerek felt the warmth of sunlight on his face.  He quickly opened his eyes and jumped up.  It was still very early and no one was around as he hurried back to the palace. As soon as he arrived in the palace he ordered his ministers to find an old man named Solos who lived near the mountain and bring him to the palace for a special reward. The ministers searched and searched for the entire day but could not find any old man named Solos or anyone who knew of such a person.  When Kerek heard this he wondered if there really had been an old man or had he just dreamt about the meeting the wise Solos.

The king then called once again for the proclamation roll and the golden pen.  Everyone gasped and wondered what the king would proclaim now. But they all did as he asked.

The new proclamation read:

From this day forward, all men could wear their hair as long or as short as they desired.

When you see the king, bow your head briefly in greeting and then let your eyes meet       his and let your voice be heard.

The magnificent ocean and heavenly sky belong to us all. Wear their colors whenever           you wish.

Once every month there will be a day of Wow.

It took a while as people were skeptical and afraid but little by little they became used to nodding at the king and speaking to him. Every month a special day of Wow was declared and all the people enjoyed the hours of fun, food and of course Pop Ball.

The next year King Kerek and Queen Ailia welcomed a new child to their family and named him Tippit. Three days later, the king took Princess Niffin by the hand and held Prince Tippit in his arm, opened the palace doors and stepped onto the public square.  Cheers arose from every direction and people waved their arms in greeting. King Kerek looked around at all the smiling faces and noticed that the people were dressed in blue for this special celebration.  Everyone had brought beautiful, smooth sea stones of all colors and shapes for Niffen and Tippit as a symbol of their loyalty and to wish the children health and happiness.

As Kerek turned back toward the palace he noticed a little, gold lantern on the palace steps. He recognized it at once and remembered it’s peaceful, flickering light.  He smiled knowing that wise and wonderful friend, Solos, would always be close by.  From that day on, King Kerek always carried the little lantern as he walked through the kingdom.  It didn’t take long before Kerek was known throughout the land as King Kerek the Kind.

 

A Film Screenplay Start “Juice” – All True

Opening Scene over credits and music (Rushmore-ish music? Graduate-like?)The kid is getting dressed. For now, we’ll call him Aaron.

C.U.’s the tie, jacket, buffs shoes. Don’t directly show the face. Clothing and shoes, etc., are semi-cheapish, slightly “off” style, not sophisticated, as in how a 16 year old would dress themselves up w/out guidance for a job interview.

Runs out of the house all dressed up.

[House is a nice suburban home in nice suburban setting. Think Dover in June.]

Jumps into a 1977 Chevy Malibu station wagon – Silver.

C.U.’s of key turning, engine rattling alive with the deep guttural tones of a 350 4 barrel, black exhaust pours out of the pipe. Then various CU’s from w/in the car, from deep in the back looking forward showing the detail of a late 70’s behemoth and others showing it’s styling; window roll down handle, glove box, radio, dash display, etc. The car is a character.

CU of a newspaper thrown on the passenger seat we can see job listings with one circled titled, “Marketing Opportunity” and then some sort of sale-sy ambiguous description.

Shots of driving through a beautiful small country town quickly montages to a small highway (Route 9) blowing by strip malls, Dunkin Donuts, etc.

He pulls into a parking lot with 2 of those temporary shed/office/trailer structures you see at construction sites. They are unmarked except for the 1 on the left that has a number (corresponding to the address in the ad) and a sign that says “Office”.

Credits and music end right when the car comes to a complete stop.

Aaron gets out of the car and pops up into a Medium CU where we clearly see his face for the first time.

He is young, 16 and looks younger than that. You can tell that he’s confused at the sparse shanty-like locale for a “Marketing” firm.

(Backstory: He’s 16, Alex P Keaton-ish, tired of mowing lawns and painting houses for summer work, thinks an “office” job, whatever that is he doesn’t really know, is the way to go. No more manual labor and something an adult would do.)

Outline:

Secratary Scene

Walks into “Office” trailer finds himself in a small room with a secratary sitting at a desk. There are cheesey motivational posters everywhere, she couldn’t be bothered, very disinterested. She “checks” him in, “…right, you called yesterday…blah, blah, blah…” Hands him some form to fill out. He does so while asking a few questions, possibly engaging her in finding out more about the position upfront. She barely even acknowledges his presence. It’s awkward for him.

The door to the office behind her and the obvious Boss comes out. He’s talking on a cellphone as he comes through the door. He’s very energetic, animated, in a suit. As he wisks thru the secretary’s space, he finishes his call and drops the phone on her desk and before heading out of the trailer, turns back to Aaron and introduces himself as the President of ‘blank’ Global Enterprises [need a name] and begins with his arm around him ranting in sort of a psuedo visionary/motivational speak type of manner as he is leading Aaron out of the trailer. He continues his Used Car salesman meets Gordon Gecko meets Tony Robbins visionary speech about his company and the world of commerce and making money and being powerful across the parking lot to trailer 2.

Classroom Scene

The door to Trailer 2 opens and Aaron is gestured in by the Boss. Inside it’s a small cramped “classroom” like setting. It’s filled w/ 15 people all around Aaron’s age, but looking a little older, from various demographics. (Remember, Aaron looks young-ish and more innocent and buttoned-up for his age)

Aaron is definitely the most dressed up in the room other than the Boss.

A “Direct Marketing” sales pitch is given to the classroom, much like the gibberish we heard from him walking from trailer 1 to 2. He explains that, “…this is a trial run, and assessment of you, the candidates and your place in the future of [blank] Global Enterprises. We want to see if you have what it takes to be an executive, a leader, a visionary, an overwhelmingly successful entrepreneur like me…blah, blah, blah.”

He explains that each candidate will be paired with another then teamed up with, “…our top Sales/Marketing representatives for a day long opportunity to see just how they are so successful and how you can be too.” The Boss then reads off the pairings and teams from a clipboard. Aaron is paired with George [need description of George] and they are teamed with Sales/Marketing Representatives, Patty and Trish (P&T).

Need some sort of death and dismemberment waiver signing right about here.

Everyone exits the classroom and we see 5 cars in the parking lot with a bunch of what look like 18 year olds dressed, mostly, extremely casually. We see P&T for the first time standing in front of an early 80’s white SS Monte Carlo with a T-Top.

P is naturally beautiful, but tough looking. Halter top and short jean cut-offs. T is more the Mary-Ann to P’s Ginger, but very much naturally attractive, Cleavaged tight top mini-skirt. Though both are naturally attractive, they sort of have that slightly trashy, Southie look to them. P smokes constantly. [more description and backstory on P & T needed]

Other Teams (possibly):

  • Another Girl/Girl Team (very competitive, for attention mostly, w/ P&T)
  •  2 Guy stoner Team
  • 2 Guy Jock future real corporate wankers Team
  • Boyfriend and Girlfriend team (They just are doing the job so that they can have sex away from their parents homes and he sort of “pimps” her (not real pimping, mind you) in order to close sales.

Introduction to P & T Scenes

[Descriptions to follow]

Dynamics with other Teams and introduction to them and some other key candidates like Aaron scenes

[Descriptions to follow]

Driving out Route 9 toward Worcester P&T, Aaron and George scenes. We’re finding out about the characters and more and more about their lives and what this job is all about.

[Descriptions to follow]

First “Good Deal” Scene

They wheel into a busy gas station/mini-mart parking lot in a seedier than would prefer area of Worcester.

They screech to a halt and almost mid-sentence, P&T simultaneously exit the car, with P, always the driver, hitting the trunk release button in the process (Maybe this is all slo-mo). We have a low angle Med. shot from behind the car as P&T both exit and make their way toward the trunk that is slowly, automatically raising the lid. We see the long doors of the 2 door Cutlass/Monte Carlo close in unison and P & T arrive at the trunk and each grab the lid precisely at the same time and just as it’s fully open. They strike their “Sales” pose and P shouts to a crowd of guys loitering in front of the mini-mart, “ Hey, you like good deals?”

CU from guys POV as he walks by the car on the passenger side making his way toward the trunk. He sees Aaron, seated on the passenger side in the back, peering out at him through the little square rear seat window. Aaron looks, young, a little scared and confused.

P&T start presenting their wares to the men and mini-mart gas station customers who have gathered at the trunk. This is the first time it is revealed what it is they really do for a living and what it is that they are “marketing “: Cheesey car stereo components, like EQ’s. Pool cues, housewares like pots and pans.

[Need more, think housewares and dumb “guy” stuff, sports memorabelia, etc. ]

More to the story to follow!

Why the film is called “Juice”?  Because Patty and Trish would drive down Route 9 after a sale, and the sales were all dicey at best, and would pump their fists out the t-top and scream “Juice!”  Juice was the  term for making a good sale.  

No Naps!


As a child, I preferred not to include naps in my daily schedule.  Conversely, my mother’s schedule did include them which established a recurring clash of wills.  Yes, I was little, but I was persistent but my mother had infinite patience so she usually won.

This particular day took place in a small, two-storey house in Worcester, Massachusetts.  I was about 3 ½ years old and had been put to bed for a nap two or three times within a short period of time.  My mother was entertaining her mother and Ellen Arnberg, one of her sisters-in-law.  They were chatting away in the kitchen, drinking coffee, eating cookies and having great fun.  This was something I didn’t want to miss.  I slowly and ever so quietly crept down the stairs just far enough so I could peep into the kitchen.  My mother saw me and simply chose to ignore me.  Aunt Ellen, however, spotted me and told me very loudly and very sternly that if I didn’t go back to bed the Boogieman would come to get me and take me away.

Just at that moment, the doorbell rang.  My mother opened the door and there stood an elderly man with profuse, unruly gray hair carrying two large satchels.  I screamed, and screamed, and screamed.  I knew in my heart that I had met the Boogieman.

Needless to say, the poor gentleman did not linger.  He was going door to door selling all kinds of linens (kitchen towels, tablecloths, napkins, etc.) just trying to make a living.

It took my mother and grandmother quite a while to calm me down and try to convince me that the gentleman was not the Boogieman and no one was taking me away.

My mother never really forgave Ellen.  To be honest, she wasn’t very likeable and yet was married to Louie, the jolliest of all my mother’s brothers.

I always felt so sorry for the poor man!Related: myyo, bXD, LEP, GnUmxs, PqYwg, ZIyqH, uTq, BHoD, PWXmGX, fxT, RmGy, tBUP, ISh, hfLfe, VbSEjB,